1**
I hate sock monkeys. Yeah, I had one as a kid but I found it sinister and
frightening and yet, not at all believable as a monkey either. It's just a
scary sock. The Monkey Sock, on the other hand, is far more sinister! This
is a serious addiction and one from which I recommend total abstinence
unless you wish to find yourself unable to concentrate on anything else
until the dreaded Monkey Socks are done.
Sock pattern diva, Cookie A. (that's her name,) created the monkey socks
because she felt that she HAD to. She recognized immediately that they were
a monkey on her back and, in her own words, "There was no other way to get
them off my back than to knit them." In this pattern, which is FREE ON
Knitty.com,
Monkey Sock Pattern on Knitty
Cookie A. has included a photo of herself lying on the floor with a
high-heeled monkey-sock-wearing foot on her back. So my question is,
Cookie A., genius sock pattern designer ....... or anti-Christ?
Did I mention that the ribbing is knit through the back and I'm using size 0
needles? If you are a knitter, you know what I mean by that. You've heard
of Instant Karma? Well this is Instant Carpal Tunnel. So almost all of my
knitting group friends have already knit at least one pair of the Monkey
Socks and now they are having a Monkey Sock Knit-a-long. I've already
succumbed to the dark side. Save yourselves!
Kate's Monkey sock - Trekking XXL yarn provided by Devil Girl(see photo below)
Meanwhile, back in that other train-wreck-in-the-carpal-tunnel universe,
ie: computer drone world, every time I plan to update my own website,
MountAiryAlpacas.com, someone
offers me a job to do THEIR website. We all like money;
it buys more yarn, but I'm starting to feel embarrassed that my old, old,
website looks so dowdy and run down at the heels, while everyone else has
spruced up theirs with the newest tricks and stylistic thrills. As my mother
would say,
"The cobbler's children always go barefoot." Or was that the sock knitter's
children wear flip flops? Something like that.
So, if you are thinking of hiring me for your website job, please be aware
that I do, in fact, know how to write the style codes in the external CSS
file and remove any style attributes from my HTML or XHTML code. I can make
my code validate with the best of them - I swear! I just haven't had time
to do it.
If you are not a computer nerd, just ignore the preceding paragraph. It
was not about yarn or fiber or alpacas. It's sad, but not all of us can
make a living as knitters, spinners and fiber freaks. We have to do actual
work to support our habits.
Despite its 1999 look, my website still generates a ton of e-mails with
questions such as, "Do you want to buy my 200 lbs. of un-sorted, alpaca
fleece from my Ebay auction?" That was an actual inquiry folks, not something
I made up!
Then there is, "How can I sell my fleeces?" I get that practically every
week. And also, "Why don't you have more information on your website about
how to spin alpaca fleece?"
My answer is: I have not given very much specific advice on how to spin
alpaca fleece because I didn't realize that that was MY job. I was waiting
for someone else to do it. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that in
a snarky, sarcastic way! I really don't consider myself the big expert on
that, but rather, one alpaca spinner among many. However, it does make one
wonder why there isn't more information about how to spin alpaca on the
websites of all of the people who, unlike me, still breed alpacas.
As for the how-do-I-sell-my-fleece people. Please, PLEASE read the cranky
article on my website entitled, Alpaca Fleece Reality Check.
Please! I love you all but I would rather not answer each of you
individually.
Not all of my website readers are people with alpaca fleece problems. I
actually had a guy call me from Minnesota last month wanting to tell me how
much he enjoyed my website! He said he could have e-mailed but he felt he
should call. How cute is that!? This is that niceness for which
Mid-Westerners are ever so famous. I was very touched. I stammered and
blushed like a school girl.
But, back to knitting. Some of you apparently read my article in the recent
issue of Camelid Quarterly about joining Ravelry, the online community for
knitters. Some even took my advice and "friended" me on Ravelry. Thank
you. For those who didn't get that issue of Camelid Quarterly, you should
have! Because, if you are not a member of Ravelry but you are in the alpaca
fleece business, then you are very silly and missing a huge opportunity.
Here is a link where you can subscribe to Camelid Quarterly:
Camelid Quarterly Subscriptions
One of the things that Ravelry offers is a place to post online photos and
descriptions of your yarn "stash." Here are a few photos from my
stash, and they represent just the sock yarn part of my stash!
Knitpicks "cochineal" Felici sock yarn
Esprit's "Sock it to Me" sock yarn
Knitpick's "Suri Dream" yarn
Regia's wool sock yarn
Imagination "Damsel" sock yarn
Imagination "Munchkin" sock yarn
Imagination "Unicorn" sock yarn
I thought that, when I had bought all of the yarns in the Fairytale series
of Imagination's, hand painted alpaca/wool blend sock yarns, my sock yarn
addiction might have run it's course. Hah! That's when IT happened, or
rather, HER!
A person shows up at another person's knitting club, appearing to be just
another knitter and then, as always happens, someone mentions a certain
yarn. Oh look!, innocent newcomer just happens to have THAT VERY YARN(!)
with her. She tosses it over in that devil-may-care (Yes! this turn of
phrase WAS intentional) way. A few minutes later, another yarn topic and,
Quelle surprise!, she has THAT yarn with her too. What the heck?!
It begins to dawn on the rest of us that Little Miss New Knitter has 2 entire
tubs of yarn beside her chair and they are all for sale! But, alas, it is
TOO LATE. We fall upon the tubs of yarn like jackals. Chilling music plays
in the background....
New knitting girl is named Kathleen, but I like to call her Devil Girl. She
works for a knitting store in Ormand Beach, Florida. She knits and she
enables the knitting habits of others. She probably has a sock monkey in
her car!
Friends, Don't let this person come to YOUR knitting group! Did I
mention that it was HER idea to start the Monkey Sock knit-a-long?
Coincidence? I don't think so! She is already on Ravelry of course. Her
ID is "Knits Well With Others," and here is her avatar:
(horns and tail added by me but, believe me, they ARE there!)
Get your torches and double-pointed, aluminum needles ready, because she's
coming to YOUR knitting club .....and Cookie A. may be with her!
1**photo of sock monkey brazenly stolen from the KnitPicks sock monkey
knit-a-long web page here:
http://community.knitpicks.com/group/mr ... yknitalong
Do NOT Click!
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