Just when I think that I have moved on from getting apoplectic about the many people who are ignorant about the specifics of alpaca fleece & yarn, - and yet - want to expound on this topic anyway, I see something that makes me crazy again and I'm off and ranting. Here I am, spinning alpaca fleece (more on that later) and doing my humble best to educate myself about alpaca yarn and fleeces, when I read another (or two other) nutty proclamation about alpaca.
People, PLEASE do your research!
The first offender is Debbie Macomber, bestselling-author of various romance novels and romance/knitting hybrid novels. Some of my knitting friends like this author, and one of my knitting pals adores Debbie Macomber! She even went so far as to buy me an autographed book by Ms. Macomber. I did not have the heart to tell her that this author is not my favorite. Luckily, my dear friend hates computers and never reads blogs.
Being thusly confused about why Debbie Macomber is a best-selling author, and why so many knitters just love Debbie Macomber, I picked up her autobiographical book, "Knit Together: Discover God's Pattern For Your Life" - about how she became a best-selling author. It turned out to be an unispiring mix of feelgood, never-give-up cheeriness and religion. Despite the title, any mention of knitting was restricted to clunky metaphors such as the following from page 100,
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Would that be Huacaya alpaca yarn? Suri alpaca yarn? Peruvian alpaca yarn? Woolen processed alpaca yarn? Worsted processed alpaca yarn? And which wool should we blend it with? Not Lincoln or any other hair breed of sheep right? That wouldn't help.
Here's an idea, if you are a best-selling author and, therefore, super-rich, try buying alpaca yarn from someone who can sell you yarn that won't stretch! You could have the yarn you want, and your readers could have accurate information. Maybe your relationships aren't as frustrating and stretchy as you think. Maybe YOU are the problem.
OK, maybe I should calm down now. If you DO happen to be a big fan of Debbie Macomber, you can go ahead and send me the hate e-mails now, but please use the Subject line, "Alpaca yarn does NOT have to strech" so that I don't leave your e-mails in the spam filter.
Meanwhile, back at Cranky Alpaca Lady central, despite having way too many alpaca and llama-related things in my house, I was inexplicably drawn to a display of llama toys at the import store in Daytona Beach. How cute and fluffy they were! I smiled and felt a warm glow, but then I saw IT! - a small sign with "information" about llamas and alpacas.
crazy sign about llamas with alpaca fleece
If you cannot read the sign above (photo taken with my cellphone) it says,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Llamas live high in the Andes of Peru and grow thick soft wool called alpaca, as protection against the cold.
The Incas prized llamas as transport, food and clothing, and alpaca is still treasured all over the world for its warmth and softness.
This item is entirely handmade using alpaca wooll (sic) that is gathered from the llamas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whaaaaa?
Is "wooll" a euphemism for skin? Because I'm pretty sure that you can't "gather" a pelt from a llama that is living, and those toys are not made from gluing alpaca fur to a cloth body. The fur is attached to skin and the skin is sewn onto a toy llama. My understanding has always been that the alpacas and llamas used for toys are still births, so my issue is not with the idea of animal skin on toys but, rather, the labeling. Why have an informational label on something if you have so little interest in providing accurate information? If you happen to be Bolivian, Chilean or Ecuadoran, you may share my surprise at the fact that only Peru is located in the high Andes and produces alpacas and llamas.
As for the idea that Llamas grow "alpaca" on them - whatever. Maybe we need a romance novel about a great looking, buxom (this is FICTION people!) alpaca breeder who also happens to be a handspinner and keeps a guard llama, a mean horse named, "Sweetie" and a dumb dog named "Blair." Oh and, what the heck, let's make her an expert at knitting the 'Cardigan for Arwen' while we're hallucinating.
Lest you think that I spend all of my time raging about inaccurate alpaca information gentle reader, please know that I recently did a handspinning demo at an event in New Smyrna Beach, Florida. Not the most fibery of destinations but people were really into it. I had a lot of questions including the usual, "Do you teach handspinning?" Maybe I shouldn't have sold off my 5 other spinning wheels before moving south. So, I do make my own, valiant effort to educate the public about fiber and alpaca-ish topics.
kate - handspinning demo alpaca with alpaca fleece
This particular spinning demo was not at an alpaca show, or even a fleece or fiber festival but at a Pagan Pride celebration. If you are thinking Wiccan or devil worship, think more like Earth Day and hippies. The only devil here was the fire ant that viciously bit my foot while I spun. My own presence there was due to an error whereby I thought this event was advertising a handspinning class. When I called for more information, it turned out that the "spinning class" was actually about "Poi Spinning." Until that moment I had always thought Poi was a food staple of the Hawaiian people but, luckily, I was not writing about that topic, so I did not mis-inform thousands of people. But, I digress.
The event producer and I had the predictable conversation, "What kind of spinning were YOU talking about?" Huh? Then two things happened, she asked me to do a handspinning demo at the event, and my daughter, now 17 and dying to go to an actual RAVE party, (forget it kid) begged to be allowed to sign up for the Poi Spinning class. Apparently, the spinning of two, lighted, ball-shaped objects attached to long, thin ropes is an important skill for young persons who attend Raves. Cassandra enjoyed herself spinning the practice poi, two tennis balls attached to plastic twine and I had fun spinning up my alpaca roving and talking about fiber. I, also, gamely tried the poi spinning but immediately whacked myself hard on the nose with one of the tennis balls in front of a large group of onlookers, so I don't plan on moving up to the flaming poi spinning, demonstrated by our instructor any time soon. I may just stick to fleece spinning.
my little girl, happily spinning pretend poi
If any of you were wondering how the Huacaya / Suri mix roving that I bought at the Florida Alpaca Show and mentioned in this post:
POST ABOUT BUYING THE HUACAYA SURI ALPACA FLEECE
turned out, here is the answer: a little hairy but otherwise, perfect. Can't wait to knit with this yarn!
skein handspun alpaca - huacaya / suri blend
More on the process of spinning up the Suri / Huacaya blend roving later but, if you haven't had enough obsessing about spinning for one day, try clicking the link below to see how the pros do it,
SHAWL MADE FROM SPIDER'S SILK!
Wow.
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Galadriel and her daughter Francesca
My friends from Wildwood Alpacas in Woodford Virginia were good enough to send me pictures of my old girl Galadriel's new female cria, Francesca out of their herdsire, Marcel. Fran, as they call her has already been praised by the shearer as having one of the softest fleeces she's ever seen. Good girl Galadriel!. I always knew that my Gladdie would make a good alpaca mom for some lucky farm. She's always been very motherly and she's also a nice sturdy girl. I don't like alpacas that are rickety-looking.
newborn Francesca with her dam, Glad
Meanwhile, Glad's son, Jake just won a championship at the Blue Ridge Classic Alpaca Show and was praised by the judge there. What a stud muffin!
Glad's con Jake - alpaca stud boy
Also, winning for the Wildwood Alpacas gals was Spice, the granddaughter of my girl, Latte. The Spice girl took a 1st and a reserve champion. She has her grand dam's crazy hairdo and also her queenly bearing.
Latte's granddaughter, Spice
Thank you Sue and Judy, for always sending me photos of the babies and grand-babies ( alpacas) - I love seeing what the girls have produced and how they are doing. They're lucky to have such a happy home.
Meanwhile, my friend Kathleen Gridley and I have formed what may just be the world's most exclusive club; ex-Maryland alpaca breeders, hand spinning and knitting fanatics, named Kathleen, who were members of the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival Committee and appeared in the the National Geographic Channel's alpaca episode and now live in Florida.
We're kind of wasting all that alpaca hand spinning talent - except for those lucky friends and relatives up North who get the hand made, alpaca Christmas gifts from us. Kathleen and I still get together now and then and send each other photos by e-mail, but we no longer sit together in the dirt watching our alpacas have - ahem - 'relations' with one another, making jokes about whether we should provide music and/or wine. We really miss those days. Here we are at the famous Bok Tower Gardens in Lake Wales, Florida.
Kate Perez and Kathleen Gridley at Bok Tower Gardens
If you're thinking that the other Kathleen is both skinnier AND more well-endowed than me, Yeah, I know! It's not easy being friends with someone like that.
Bok Tower Gardens is located on the highest spot in peninsular Florida, but Kathleen and I both agreed that the climb from our houses on our farms in Maryland, to our own barns was steeper. Still, it was 'high-ish' for Florida and we did get some amazing photos there. And we had a good time seeing each other again. One photo that I just couldn't resist taking was this one,
Who knew Princess Leia's hairdo was invented by old Dutch ladies? This was Bok's grandmother I think. I'm wondering if Kathleen and I should go back in October for the 1st annual BOKTOBERFEST. Free admission and a plant sale, now if they only had alpacas there.....
Speaking of fibery things, the 'Magic Ball Yarn Swap' is the female bonding ritual du jour for knitters lately. I finally got in on one of these in my knitting club, the Knead to Knit gang at the Sunrise Bread Company in Titusville, Florida. I decided to use alpaca - wool blend, Imaginiation, hand-painted yarn from Knit Picks in the coloway, 'munchkin' for my magic ball recipient because she mentioned liking greens and oranges.
I put in a vintage pin, a stitch marker, a needle end holder, soap, a pretty coffee cup coaster for the car, a hidden little ball of bunny fur yarn and other treasures. I have to say though, I was totally outclassed by the magic ball that I received from Amy the nurse - thank you Amy! She remembered me mentioning some hand-knit socks that were snatched off of me by my best friend. I was only too happy to make sure that my friend had hand knit socks but I really loved that yarn (superwash Merino, Felici self striping sock yarn from Knit Picks in the coloway 'Martinique') so Amy found the same yarn to use in my magic ball! Then she added a huge bunch of cute little things.
My favorites were the mini-crochet hook keyring (for emergency stitch picking up) and the personalized stitch markers.
Cute little surprise presents and yarn! What's not to love about this. We all had a blast.
I have only managed to spin one bobbin of my wonderful Huacaya/Suri alpaca blend roving from the Florida Alpaca Show and I'm bummed about that. I really love the way the yarn is turning out. However, I had to be a good Mom and finish my daughter's hand knit birthday socks in the Harry Potter, Opal yarn. Despite the 'help' of a friend's evil little schnoodle dog that I foolishly agreed to puppy-sit
evil, yarn-eating Schnoodle
I did finish the socks. Doing socks for people with tiny, fairy feet, who also only want anklets is really quick! I still have more than half of the skein left (after re-winding the mess the evil schnoodle made.) My daughter loves them. Now if she could put them in the laundry instead of balling them up under her bed.
If you, or anyone else you know, is an ex-Alpaca breeder from Maryland, now living in Florida, please think about joining our exclusive club. There are no dues or rules, except you must be a hand spinner and knitter, crocheter, felter or weaver. We'll waive the part about having to be named Kathleen and being a former member of the MDS&WF Committee. Llama breeders are also welcome!
Because once you've had alpaca, you can never really go backa! It's a part of you that lasts forever.
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Well the dreaded Monkey Socks (mentioned in This Post ) from the pattern by Cookie A. are done and, I have to say, they hurt my hands but I kinda love them! Now I am wondering how this pattern would look in hand spun alpaca and that's NOT A GOOD THING!, because I live in Florida now. Sore hands and hot but pretty feet?
Suri / Huacaya alpaca blend hand spun
Meanwhile, I have already started on some socks for my daughter's 17th birthday and she desperately wanted socks made with Opal brand's imported-from-Germany Harry Potter series. The color pattern she wanted was named 'Tonks' after the character in the Potter series who is the only female auror. So I had to go crawling back to Devil Girl (mentioned in the previous post) to get this yarn which may not even be available here in the U.S. Devil Girl just got back from a wicked yarn-buying binge in Germany.
Harry Potter themed yarn from Germany
That's just the kind of super-cool Mom I am. The, humpf, boyfriend, tried to get in on the action and ordered Harry Potter Dark Mark socks (pattern available on Ravelry.com) but I just laughed cruelly at this silly, little boy! In the list of people who are all hinting around for hand-knit socks and may or may not get some, the daughter's boyfriend appears just above serial killers and well below my best friend in Maryland's NEW best friend.
He, Scott, might get a pair of socks eventually but I plan to use Imagination's hand painted alpaca-wool blend in the 'Wicked Witch' colorway for him. He's a 'friend of Dorothy', which I am totally fine with, but he did STEAL my BF! He'll probably LOVE the Wicked Witch theme though. They are kind of Fabulous.
But, look what I am starting my daughter's Harry Potter socks on:
knit in the round with square sock needles!
Square sock needles! My friend Roseann, the UberKnitter sent me these square sock needles and they are super comfortable. I never would have imagined that going square could make your knitting needles feel better in your hands but they do. She also sent me a sample of Tofutti sock yarn. I know she isn't a big fan of it, but I kind of like it. Thanks Roseann!
Tofutti, soy silk sock yarn
Well, I was feeling very sorry for myself because for the first time in millions of years, I was not at the MD Sheep & Wool Festival. Apparently my kids are expected to avoid long road trips and actually attend high school here in Florida. How ridiculous is that?
Luckily, my amazingly wonderful friend Toni sent me not one but TWO MDS&WF t-shirts! I'm feeling very grateful now and I love the design winner from this year's MDS&WF! So funny.
MD Sheep & Wool Festival tshirt 2009
child's MD Sheep & Wool Festival tshirt 2009
I did cruise over to the blogs of two fiber friends who I knew would be at the Festival, Roseann, and her friend Patrick. I looked at their stashes from MDS&WF just to torture myself and it worked. I felt desperately jealous.
But, I do have new knitting friends here in Florida and they are introducing me to some pretty fun stuff. My cell phone now has a custom 'ring tone' and it plays the Knitta Please rap song. My favorite line from which is,
'You really call this your softest fleece? Knitta Please!'
You can download the entire song from the link below but - BE WARNED! - it does have some bad words in it like when it says,
'Don't take no #$%p from the Crochet B$#%es.' OK, it is a little juvenile but it makes me laugh.
Knitta Please rap:
Scroll a little over halfway down the page and look for the link to the mp3 file on the right side.
It was due to my desire to find the song online that I came across the Knitta Please terrorist knitting group and their nefarious plan to cover public property with knitting, without the proper permit, or even so much as a Mother May I?. Here is a bus they covered in Mexico City. Who says knitting is for old ladies?
bus covered with knitting in Mexico City
Soon people like me will be way too old and uncool to be allowed into knitting groups. I might have to pierce something or at least get a tatoo. Does a skin cancer removal scar count as facial art? Probably not.
In between all too infrequent knitting jags, I am writing a thrice weekly online column for the Miami Examiner about 'Alternative Religions.' The newspaper, as a media outlet, is pretty much dead so I figure that I might as well get paid to write about my obsessions from now on.
It is really not my wish to shock or offend so, if you are a fundamentalist Christian, Jew or Muslim, you will want to avoid my new blog. If you want to read my alternative religion blog, you can find it here:
Kate's Miami Examiner Blog
It's turning out to be a lot more work than I thought to come up with at least 3 columns a week so all my fiber arts crafts have suffered, but I did manage to finally, finish hand spinning the teal colored Merino roving I bought last year at the MD Sheep & Wool Festival.
No, that was not a typo! It only took me 1 whole year to get around to it. The good news is that I am now free to move on to the Huacaya / Suri alpaca blend roving that I bought at the Florida Alpaca
Breeders Show mentioned in this post.Florida Alpaca Breeders Show
This is spinning up perfectly! The combination of Suri and Huacaya gives it the strength of silk but with a halo of fluffier huacaya all around the core. I can't wait to finish this skein up! And, it's giving me a chance to use my Kiwi wheel's lace whorl again. Now that I'm in Florida, I may just keep the lace whorl on the wheel for good.
To all my pals at the MD Sheep & Wool Festival, I really miss you but I'll be back when the brats graduate from high school (Goddess willing.)
Below: Random Youtube video of a Rock Band's video with animated knitting background. I just HAD to share this one!
Machine Knit, Music Video
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1**
I hate sock monkeys. Yeah, I had one as a kid but I found it sinister and
frightening and yet, not at all believable as a monkey either. It's just a
scary sock. The Monkey Sock, on the other hand, is far more sinister! This
is a serious addiction and one from which I recommend total abstinence
unless you wish to find yourself unable to concentrate on anything else
until the dreaded Monkey Socks are done.
Sock pattern diva, Cookie A. (that's her name,) created the monkey socks
because she felt that she HAD to. She recognized immediately that they were
a monkey on her back and, in her own words, "There was no other way to get
them off my back than to knit them." In this pattern, which is FREE ON
Knitty.com,
Monkey Sock Pattern on Knitty
Cookie A. has included a photo of herself lying on the floor with a
high-heeled monkey-sock-wearing foot on her back. So my question is,
Cookie A., genius sock pattern designer ....... or anti-Christ?
Did I mention that the ribbing is knit through the back and I'm using size 0
needles? If you are a knitter, you know what I mean by that. You've heard
of Instant Karma? Well this is Instant Carpal Tunnel. So almost all of my
knitting group friends have already knit at least one pair of the Monkey
Socks and now they are having a Monkey Sock Knit-a-long. I've already
succumbed to the dark side. Save yourselves!
Kate's Monkey sock - Trekking XXL yarn provided by Devil Girl(see photo below)
Meanwhile, back in that other train-wreck-in-the-carpal-tunnel universe,
ie: computer drone world, every time I plan to update my own website,
MountAiryAlpacas.com, someone
offers me a job to do THEIR website. We all like money;
it buys more yarn, but I'm starting to feel embarrassed that my old, old,
website looks so dowdy and run down at the heels, while everyone else has
spruced up theirs with the newest tricks and stylistic thrills. As my mother
would say,
"The cobbler's children always go barefoot." Or was that the sock knitter's
children wear flip flops? Something like that.
So, if you are thinking of hiring me for your website job, please be aware
that I do, in fact, know how to write the style codes in the external CSS
file and remove any style attributes from my HTML or XHTML code. I can make
my code validate with the best of them - I swear! I just haven't had time
to do it.
If you are not a computer nerd, just ignore the preceding paragraph. It
was not about yarn or fiber or alpacas. It's sad, but not all of us can
make a living as knitters, spinners and fiber freaks. We have to do actual
work to support our habits.
Despite its 1999 look, my website still generates a ton of e-mails with
questions such as, "Do you want to buy my 200 lbs. of un-sorted, alpaca
fleece from my Ebay auction?" That was an actual inquiry folks, not something
I made up!
Then there is, "How can I sell my fleeces?" I get that practically every
week. And also, "Why don't you have more information on your website about
how to spin alpaca fleece?"
My answer is: I have not given very much specific advice on how to spin
alpaca fleece because I didn't realize that that was MY job. I was waiting
for someone else to do it. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that in
a snarky, sarcastic way! I really don't consider myself the big expert on
that, but rather, one alpaca spinner among many. However, it does make one
wonder why there isn't more information about how to spin alpaca on the
websites of all of the people who, unlike me, still breed alpacas.
As for the how-do-I-sell-my-fleece people. Please, PLEASE read the cranky
article on my website entitled, Alpaca Fleece Reality Check.
Please! I love you all but I would rather not answer each of you
individually.
Not all of my website readers are people with alpaca fleece problems. I
actually had a guy call me from Minnesota last month wanting to tell me how
much he enjoyed my website! He said he could have e-mailed but he felt he
should call. How cute is that!? This is that niceness for which
Mid-Westerners are ever so famous. I was very touched. I stammered and
blushed like a school girl.
But, back to knitting. Some of you apparently read my article in the recent
issue of Camelid Quarterly about joining Ravelry, the online community for
knitters. Some even took my advice and "friended" me on Ravelry. Thank
you. For those who didn't get that issue of Camelid Quarterly, you should
have! Because, if you are not a member of Ravelry but you are in the alpaca
fleece business, then you are very silly and missing a huge opportunity.
Here is a link where you can subscribe to Camelid Quarterly:
Camelid Quarterly Subscriptions
One of the things that Ravelry offers is a place to post online photos and
descriptions of your yarn "stash." Here are a few photos from my
stash, and they represent just the sock yarn part of my stash!
Knitpicks "cochineal" Felici sock yarn
Esprit's "Sock it to Me" sock yarn
Knitpick's "Suri Dream" yarn
Regia's wool sock yarn
Imagination "Damsel" sock yarn
Imagination "Munchkin" sock yarn
Imagination "Unicorn" sock yarn
I thought that, when I had bought all of the yarns in the Fairytale series
of Imagination's, hand painted alpaca/wool blend sock yarns, my sock yarn
addiction might have run it's course. Hah! That's when IT happened, or
rather, HER!
A person shows up at another person's knitting club, appearing to be just
another knitter and then, as always happens, someone mentions a certain
yarn. Oh look!, innocent newcomer just happens to have THAT VERY YARN(!)
with her. She tosses it over in that devil-may-care (Yes! this turn of
phrase WAS intentional) way. A few minutes later, another yarn topic and,
Quelle surprise!, she has THAT yarn with her too. What the heck?!
It begins to dawn on the rest of us that Little Miss New Knitter has 2 entire
tubs of yarn beside her chair and they are all for sale! But, alas, it is
TOO LATE. We fall upon the tubs of yarn like jackals. Chilling music plays
in the background....
New knitting girl is named Kathleen, but I like to call her Devil Girl. She
works for a knitting store in Ormand Beach, Florida. She knits and she
enables the knitting habits of others. She probably has a sock monkey in
her car!
Friends, Don't let this person come to YOUR knitting group! Did I
mention that it was HER idea to start the Monkey Sock knit-a-long?
Coincidence? I don't think so! She is already on Ravelry of course. Her
ID is "Knits Well With Others," and here is her avatar:
(horns and tail added by me but, believe me, they ARE there!)
Get your torches and double-pointed, aluminum needles ready, because she's
coming to YOUR knitting club .....and Cookie A. may be with her!
1**photo of sock monkey brazenly stolen from the KnitPicks sock monkey
knit-a-long web page here:
http://community.knitpicks.com/group/mr ... yknitalong
Do NOT Click!
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